Anger

I discovered what has taken hold of me. I am very unhappy, because someone that I so stupidly allowed in, totally spit it back in my face because of the love and care that I share with people. It makes me so angry. If I could see that person I would barely hold it in, but I would make it known to that person that I know what they did. They would feel guilty and truthfully apologize, at least, but my trust has already been broken and I have already given to many 2nd and 3rd chances to just forgive. And it's not boyfriend drama, because it does kind of sound that way, but it's not.

Sometimes I catch myself doing something doing, something that I would not usually do, I think it's because I'm growing up and I'm still not used to the idea. I looked at myself in the mirror the other day and I just I say something, someone completely different. Someone I didn't know, I say a grown matured happy person with a fear of loneliness. But right now I'm happy :)

Found These Beautiful Pictures and Also Some Nightmare Before Christmas Wallpapers

I'm being such a girly girl lately, I can't help it. (blushing)

Confused

I don't understand...

I'm happy, but I bring myself down and I think and live in the past. I don't understand why I do this it makes me cry, and laugh and then makes me love, I'm so confused my feeling are all around in a blizzard crashing into one another, causing confusion.

Changes

There have been many recent Changes in my life.

I've moved from the Southern West Coast to the Middle\East Coast in this past month and had a busy couple months before the move. It was a very sudden one, a heartbreaking move, and a nail in the foot, but the wound is  healing ever so slowly. The Southern West Coast is dry and bare with few beauties in sight. For some it is the beauty they crave, but not for my household and I. What we see as beauty is the furry creatures that skitter in the corner of the eye, and the lush soft, kind, and gentle green that sprouts and loves the sun, and does not dread it, the sprouts that stay alive and grow even greater and more beautiful.

The sudden nail in the foot is healing, but keeps reopening. It is hard being alone all the time, my parents phones always ringing so that there is not much of a chance for a call to a fellow friend. I haven't had much to do since I'm to shy for my own good, that I stay hidden in my home playing video games and watching anime, which is most definitely not good for thy health. But I do go to work with my father helping him re-key homes and that keeps my in shape... for the most part. I will soon sign up for freshman year on the 31st of July and I'm nervous, very, very nervous, but also so, so, so excited. I'll try to get into honors classes and joining the anime club, along with playing my Cello in the school Orchestra. And hopefully start a modeling page so I can get into modeling, which has also been a desire of mine for quite some time. I'm very excited for the future.